Addicted in America

DAY 1 and DAY 2 - again

2009-08-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

I skipped my last blog updates because of my decision to stumble again. After getting online two nights ago, I revisited one of the video chat rooms I used to log into quite regularly and, pardon the phrasing, 'got off'. In no way am I proud of this, least so that I must start the count over again. I am now sitting at Day 2 yet another time.
Forgive me for my somewhat depressed mood, but a confessional journal rarely excites the writer. Thus far, I can only tell you of my failures. Of course, I won't have truly succeeded until the day I die and all of this can be put behind me. Until then, I'll keep posting and keep trying -- even if no one out there is even reading this.

DAY 3

2009-08-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting on the third day, quite successfully. Before I get ahead of myself, I need to remember that the day is far from over. I wish I could speed up this process, but I think it's going to be one incredibly long road of travelling that I won't stop walking until the day I die. My hope is that I walk right on through my dating life (once it starts), my (hopeful) wedding day, and straight into the arms of my Father on that fateful day.
One more step. God, I never want to stop taking this individual steps toward You. Easier said than done...and that's an understatement.

DAY 2

2009-08-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

After logging onto the chat userplane that I normally use when searching for someone to jack off with, I made the decision to log off. At first, I viewed this night as a failure. It was only Day 2, and I was already getting back online with the intent to fall. However, then I realized that it was, in fact, merely intent. Temptation was knocking at my door. I could have opened it wide, but instead shut it when I hit that 'X' in the top righthand corner of my screen and proceeded to lock it as I hit the power button. It may not be perfection, but it's definitely something. I'm claiming victory over Day 2, and that's more than I can usually say.

DAY 1

2009-08-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

I made the decision to delete all previous posts in an attempt to clear myself of my past. Every night, I log on and plug into the world of cyber sex. It, without a doubt, is addicting. My mission is to put a stop to this.This journal is my confessional. Through it, I will conquer my addiction. Yes, I am willing to admit I am addicted to sexual expression: pornography, roleplay, webcam, masturbation, and homosexuality. At my young age, I have already ruined myself. I long for a wife and to one day have children, but today I feel I am less of a man than any woman deserves. Sexual immorality is my biggest struggle, but salvation is my exodus. God, save me.Hello, world. My name is AddictedinAmerica.